Here I am. Again. I debated coming back to this space. I created this blog a year ago as I had every intention of competiting in my first show. But, that's the thing about intentions...they take action. And, obviously, I didn't take action on those dreams. Shows came and went and I pretended that I didn't notice that my goals were going unfullfilled.
But, that's the thing about goals. If they are truly meant to be, if those are a part of God's plan for your life, they don't go away. That pull becomes stronger. You can't ignore the voice that tells you to just do it.
So, here I am. Again. And I have fabulous news.
I AM competing in July!!! I was blessed to get the opportunity to go to New Orleans for Beachbody's Summit. And, when in Rome ;-).. I decided to go ahead and compete in the classic. I got in right away and have been busting my tail to get ready.
Now, I don't expect to take the stage by storm, but this isn't about that. This is about finally doing something that I always wanted to do. This is about making my dreams a reality. This is about me.
I've endured a lot of storms these last few years and, now it's time to do what's best for me.
I am excited. I am hopeful
I am BACK!
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Thursday, March 10, 2016
I had a choice to make
10 steps. That's how many steps it was from one floor to the next.
10.
It's a trip that I should be able to make with ease. But, I wasn't able to. I got to the top of the steps and had to sit and rest. As I sat there, struggling to catch my breath, I felt tears fill my eyes...
When did I become this person? When did I let my health decline to the point it is right now?
I can't pinpoint a specific event that led to me simply not caring. Instead it was a series of events.
Job loss.
Divorce.
Health Issues.
I think the divorce hit me the hardest. Suddenly, I found myself isolated. People that I once thought were friends had become part of the vicious rumor mill in town. I had no one to turn to. No one I could call. So, I turned back to food. The one thing that I knew wouldn't judge me.
Food doesn't accuse me of doing drugs (I don't...why would I jepordize my nursing career?)
Food doesn't accuse me of being the town whore (again..nope)
Food doesn't tell me I am a horrible mom, Christian, person.
Food is there for me at 2am when the tears become too much.
Food accepts me.
Food became my crutch to get through some of the darkest times I have ever found myself in. (And I've been in some horrible storms in my life).
As I sat on the bed, trying to catch my breath, I realized that I had a choice to make. I had to choose whether to love myself enough to say "I deserve better than what I am giving myself" or to choose to allow what other people said, thought, and did control my life. I had to choose....
Me or Them.
Today, I chose me. I chose to be bigger than my emotions. I chose to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear towards those who don't love me. I chose happiness.
Today I had to make a choice.
If you had to choose...what would your choice be?
Choose to love yourself enough to rise above the noise.
You're worth it.
I'm worth it.
10.
It's a trip that I should be able to make with ease. But, I wasn't able to. I got to the top of the steps and had to sit and rest. As I sat there, struggling to catch my breath, I felt tears fill my eyes...
When did I become this person? When did I let my health decline to the point it is right now?
I can't pinpoint a specific event that led to me simply not caring. Instead it was a series of events.
Job loss.
Divorce.
Health Issues.
I think the divorce hit me the hardest. Suddenly, I found myself isolated. People that I once thought were friends had become part of the vicious rumor mill in town. I had no one to turn to. No one I could call. So, I turned back to food. The one thing that I knew wouldn't judge me.
Food doesn't accuse me of doing drugs (I don't...why would I jepordize my nursing career?)
Food doesn't accuse me of being the town whore (again..nope)
Food doesn't tell me I am a horrible mom, Christian, person.
Food is there for me at 2am when the tears become too much.
Food accepts me.
Food became my crutch to get through some of the darkest times I have ever found myself in. (And I've been in some horrible storms in my life).
As I sat on the bed, trying to catch my breath, I realized that I had a choice to make. I had to choose whether to love myself enough to say "I deserve better than what I am giving myself" or to choose to allow what other people said, thought, and did control my life. I had to choose....
Me or Them.
Today, I chose me. I chose to be bigger than my emotions. I chose to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear towards those who don't love me. I chose happiness.
Today I had to make a choice.
If you had to choose...what would your choice be?
Choose to love yourself enough to rise above the noise.
You're worth it.
I'm worth it.
Saturday, March 5, 2016
A long way to go
I took a huge step back in my weight loss journey---and subsequently in my journey to compete in an NPC show.
I won't lie, life got really crazy, really fast. I am in the midst of a divorce. The divorce started out friendly enough, but it's since gotten really ugly. And the stress has caused me to make some not so great choices when it comes to working out or eating right.
I finally came to the realization that best way to successfully navigate the rough waters of divorce is to find something else to focus on.
So, I am focusing on myself. Working on improving my health. Getting my fitness back to where it used to be--and beyond.
I am reopening my Personal Training Business, relaunching my Faith Based Fitness Program, and doing more of the things that make me happy.
I have a few shows in mind, however, it's all a matter of what show would be best and what I can do to be stage ready in that time frame.
I've still got a long way to go...but, I have also come so very far.
I finally came to the realization that best way to successfully navigate the rough waters of divorce is to find something else to focus on.
So, I am focusing on myself. Working on improving my health. Getting my fitness back to where it used to be--and beyond.
I am reopening my Personal Training Business, relaunching my Faith Based Fitness Program, and doing more of the things that make me happy.
I have a few shows in mind, however, it's all a matter of what show would be best and what I can do to be stage ready in that time frame.
I've still got a long way to go...but, I have also come so very far.
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